It's a Battlefield
by HelloYouShip
Summary: Kate is jealous. Rick is confused. Can they both control their emotions long enough to get what they really want? Season four -
1. The Green Eyed Monster

Set during season 4. Continues a few months after the season opener.

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><p>Kate had been watching him from her desk for the past ten minutes. Castle was standing by the elevator talking to <em>her<em>. Stephanie Davenport was a local District Attorney who had come in at the request of Captain Gates to brief them on their most recent case. Stephanie had charmed the boys in two minutes flat, and Kate too if she was really honest. She was smart, sophisticated, leggy and blonde.

'_She's totally Castle's type,' _Kate thought.

Kate continued to watch as Castle laughed lightly at whatever she was saying and Stephanie would reach out and slowly rub up and down his arm every few minutes.

'_Typical sign of flirting,'_ she sighed outwardly.

Kate had been so deep in thought watching them she didn't noticed Esposito slide over to her side while still sitting in his chair.

'Hey Beckett, you finished with that file?' he said watching her face then followed her gaze.

'Eh… yea, here,' she handed it to him after finally looking away from the couple. Once she handed it over she quickly took another look at them, trying to be discrete then finally rested at her computer.

'_What is WRONG with me?_' she thought. She wasn't normally the jealous kind. This isn't the first woman who had flirted with Castle and she certainly never let it get to her before. '_Why was this woman any different_?' She pondered.

'They've been talking for a while huh?' Esposito interrupted her thoughts.

'Eh… I think so, why?' she replied acting distracted and started chewing on her pen.

'I was just wondering.' He replied smirking, knowing that this would annoy her a little bit more.

'Hey Ryan' he called over to his friend, 'twenty says he comes back with a date?'

'I'll take that.' He called back.

'Guys stop!' Kate said suddenly, throwing down the pen.

They both looked at her in shock. They were surprised at her sudden outburst as it usually took a lot more teasing than this to rattle her cage.

'Sorry,' she said quietly, 'headache' she smiled apologetically over to them.

'Got a headache, huh?' Esposito said, still sitting by her side. Ryan watched in amusement. 'This has nothing to do with the lovely lady chatting with Castle right now?'

Kate looked up at him surprised by this forwardness. 'No… not at all.'

'It's just the way you were watching them, I'd say you were a little jealous Beckett….'

'What! I wasn't watching, don't be stupid Esposito. Castle can do what he pleases; it has no effect on me.'

'Yea, okay.' Ryan chirped in laughing.

Kate sighed. She really wasn't in the mood for this today. 'Why don't you boys get back to your gossiping, I am going to see Lanie,' she replied. If anyone could help her unscramble her brain, Lanie could. Kate stood up and began to put her coat on but she stopped suddenly as she realised something. There was something blocking her route to her best friend. The two people she had been watching by the elevator were still standing there in deep conversation. Could she bring herself to walk past and perhaps hear something that she didn't want to hear?

'Eh… Beckett?' Ryan said as both men where still watching her.

'Yea,' she said distractedly again while staring into space.

'I thought you were leaving?'

'I am… in a minute.'

'You're not afraid to walk past them are you?' Esposito grinned.

Kate said nothing but sat down in her seat again. '_Oh crap.'_

'Well… I don't want to interrupt them. It might ruin his chances!' she replied sarcastically.

The guys laughed, all of them sneaking glances at the elevator. Finally they all noticed the pair had started to say their goodbyes and tried to act as normal as possible at their desks, pretending to work. Castle came over and sat in his usual seat while getting out his phone. Beckett continued to work. _'I need to get out of here ASAP,' _she decided in her head.

'So Castle,' Esposito called over. 'Nice conversation with the pretty DA?'

'Yes it was Esposito,' he replied grinning.

Castle was about to continue talking when Kate suddenly got up off her seat. She couldn't take anymore. She was convinced that the smug look on his face meant he had asked her out. 'I'm going to see Lanie, I'll be back in soon' she said looking at Castle.

'Oh, you don't want me to come?'

'No… it's not about case. I'll be back,' she replied, walking off.

'What was that about?' he asked Ryan and Esposito.

'I think she was a bit green Castle.' Ryan said laughing.

'She's sick?'

'No he means with envy dude.' Esposito said, laughing with Ryan.

Castle was baffled.

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><p>Entering the morgue Kate could see her best friend sitting at her desk. Like everyone else in the building she seemed to be deep in paper work.<p>

'Hey Lanie' Kate said going to sit at the desk.

'Hey girl. I wasn't expecting you.' Lanie said looking up from her work.

'I just thought I would drop by for a chat.'

'Oh really,' Lanie said sceptically. 'Chat about anything in particular?'

Kate smiled. She knew Lanie could read her like a book. 'I just needed a breather. Things were getting a bit tense. Well, I was getting a bit tense.'

'Does this have anything to do with the hot DA that I hear is gracing your presence?'

Kate laughed, 'how do you know these things?'

'Sixth sense,' she replied while shrugging. 'Plus every male I have passed in the last hour has mentioned something about a 'new DA with a smoking body,' she laughed, 'their words, not mine!'

'Well you got it in one.' Kate sighed. 'I think Castle asked her out on a date.'

Lanie immediately raised her eyebrows in shock that this had come from Kate's mouth. She knew better than to push her about her feelings so decided to take a hesitant approach.

'And this bothers you?' Lanie said slowly.

'Yes.'

'Why?' she grinned knowingly.

'Come on Lanie, you know why. Don't make me spell it out, it's hard enough to admit to myself,' Kate sighed.

'I _may_ need to here you say it girl. Just so I can be sure,' she laughed.

Kate laughed. _I may as well jump right in now. _She thought.

'Okay, fine! I'm Jealous! I admit it. I'm pathetic.' Kate finished sadly.

'Oh Kate… you're not pathetic. A bit slow maybe,' she smiled, 'but not pathetic.'

Kate grimaced. 'Not helping!'

'Sorry. I'm just shocked that you're willing to be so honest. You're not exactly an open book here Kate.'

'I know. I'm trying Lanie. I really am.'

'I know you are sweetie.'

Kate sighed. 'What am I going to do? What if he's asked her out? I mean how could he do this?'

'How could he do what Kate? Ask another woman out? He _is_ single, he _is_ allowed. I don't mean to sound harsh but maybe if you had been a bit more honest before this then he wouldn't be out there chatting up other women.'

'I know Lanie, but I wasn't ready. Then it never seemed like the right time, plus it's not as if he has been so open in the past!'

'And are you ready now?'

'I think…. Yes I am.'

'Well that's something.' Lanie smiled sympathetically.

'Actually… there's something else.' Kate said hesitantly. Lanie looked at her questioningly. 'Something I couldn't tell anyone. Something I lied to Castle about.'

'What is it? That you're in love with him?'

'Well…. no that's not what I was talking about. It's about the shooting. Lanie I lied about remembering.'

'You remember being shot?'

'Yes. I remember Castle. He tackled me and then I hit the ground. Then….'

'Then what do you remember?'

'Then he said 'stay with me,' he kept saying it over and over and then…' Kate looked down to her feet and sighed. 'He said he loved me.'

Lanie sat with her mouth open wide in shock.

'Wow. I did _not_ see that coming!'

'I know.'

'So you've just kept this to yourself?'

'Yip… pretty much.'

'Oh Kate'

'I just couldn't face it. I was so afraid,' she sighed. 'I still am so afraid. I don't want to loose him.'

'Well I am glad you told me sweetie. I am here to help you know.' Lanie smiled at her.

'I know. Thanks Lanie,' she smiled back.

'So… what are we going to do about Castle and this DA?'

Kate shuddered. 'Kill her? And then him?' she said sarcastically.

'Now who's not being unhelpful?'

'Sorry.' Kate said sheepishly. 'I just didn't expect him to keep dating that's all.'

'Well you said you only _thought _he asked her out_. _Maybe you were wrong?'

'No, you should have seen his face and the way she was all over him.'

'Oh you don't think he invited her to poker tonight?'

'Oh my God, Lanie he wouldn't… would he?' Kate groaned. 'Of course he did.'

'I think it's a definite possibility. Let me text Espo and see if he knows. Don't worry I'll be subtle.' She grabbed her phone and quickly typed out a message. Kate groaned again and put her head in her hands. Thirty seconds later Lanie felt her phone vibrate in her hands and quickly read the message.

'Well... it looks like our intuition was spot on.'

'Wonderful. I take it its too late to back out?' Kate said sarcastically lifting her head out of her hands.

Lanie laughed, 'probably. Don't worry. I'll be there for support.'

Kate sighed and then smiled at her friend. She knew she was going to be in for a tough night. Frustration consumed her as she thought back to those moments when Castle declared his love for her. _It was in the heat of the moment _she determined. Kate immediately tried to put herself in a different mindset. She told herself that she didn't love Castle, that she didn't need him and that she could get through tonight.

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><p>Coming up: Poker night, meeting the new DA and MarthaKate bonding.

Thanks :)


	2. Love or Lust?

Note: This story is really not going where I originally planned. Hey ho... I am just going to go with it!

THANK YOU for the reviews. Some lovely ones and some with very good advice that I have taken on board. Much appreciated! I never usually review but I think I might have to start.

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><p>Laughter filled Castles loft as the group sat round his large poker table talking and getting ready to play. Kate, Lanie, Martha and Jenny were all sitting next to each other deep in wedding plans while Esposito and Ryan sat opposite them joking and setting up the chips. In-between the two groups were Castle and Stephanie. She had just arrived and after a brief re-introduction to the people she already knew and an introduction to the ones she didn't she had taken the only free seat, which was beside Castle. Everyone did their best to make Stephanie feel welcome, including Kate. Even though the whole situation pained her the woman really had done nothing wrong.<p>

As the team started to play Martha watched her son in curiosity. For once his focus was not on Kate but on this other woman. Martha couldn't help but feel unnerved by this new person who had entered her house so easily. She seemed nice enough but it was so unlike Castle to invite a woman round so unexpectedly and Martha couldn't help but think that there was something else going on with this situation.

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><p>Hours later the group all sat around the table drinking and having a good time. Over the course of the night they had all managed to swap seats depending on who was having a conversation at certain times. Martha had left briefly to make a round of drinks for the table.<p>

'So Stephanie,' started Esposito, 'are you enjoying being back in New York?'

'Well I never thought I'd be back living here to be honest, but it certainly has its perks,' she replied glancing at Castle subtly. He, of course, picked up on this and felt himself get a little bit hotter. Their first proper conversation had been fun and flirty and Castle told himself that it was all harmless. Being around Kate but not being _with her_ had taken its toll on him and this extra attention from a woman was something he enjoyed, maybe even needed for his own sanity. Did he want their 'relationship' to go somewhere? He couldn't answer this. The invitation to the poker game had been a spontaneous one which shocked him when he heard the words come out of his mouth. Now she was here he couldn't help but be flattered. His thoughts then drifted to Kate. If he only knew how she felt then he could get his head straight. If he knew for sure that she wasn't interested he could move on, even though it would break his heart irreparably. If there was even the slightest chance she felt the same he knew that he wouldn't be able to leave her, ever.

'Okay guys, I'm all in!' Lanie said loudly, distracting Castle from his thoughts.

'Wow, are you sure?' Esposito laughed, 'think you got what it takes?'

'I don't _think_ honey, I know! Now are you in?' she replied.

'Oh I'm in!'

'I fold. Got a wedding to save up for' smiled Ryan at Jenny. The others laughed.

'You are too cute!' Lanie gushed. 'Jenny?'

'Oh I'm out, I'm not very good at this game,' she replied.

'Well I will match Lanie,' Rick said confidently.

'I'm in' said Stephanie.

Everyone then turned their attention to Kate, who was the only one left. She sat gazing at her cards but seemed to be in a complete daydream and unaware of what was going on around her.

'Kate?' Lanie asked.

'Eh… I fold,' she replied distractedly.

'You're out again Kate?' asked Rick in disbelief.

'Yeah Beckett, it's not like you to _lose_ so much…' Esposito said with his eyebrows raised. He hoped this would push her buttons a little. It didn't.

'What can I say guys, looks like luck is just not on my side tonight,' she smiled, 'I'm going to go help Martha.'

Kate stood up and headed to the kitchen and Castle watched her go as he was concerned about her behaviour. She was having a good enough time but every few minutes she couldn't help but sneak a glance at Castle. She watched him concentrate on his cards, make friendly banter with his friends and listen intently when Stephanie makes little comments to him. The jealously was rearing its ugly head again and she needed a breather.

'Hey Martha, would you like a hand?' she asked as she went round the side of the kitchen and stood beside her.

'Oh thank you Kate. I'm nearly done.'

Kate sat down on the stool by the counter to wait as Martha finished making the last drink.

'Okay, I'll help you carry them.'

'Thank you. How are you dear? How are you holding up? This is the first time I've seen you properly since the funeral,' Martha asked, her concern seeping through.

'I know it's been a while, but I'm doing okay thanks Martha. My fitness level isn't what it used to be,' she laughed chuckling lightly, 'but it's getting there.'

'It just takes a little bit of time dear,' Martha smiled sympathetically. 'Are you having a good night?'

'Yea, it's a great night,' Kate smiled.

'Why am I not convinced?' Martha finished the drink she had been working on and set it with the others. She took the seat nearest to Kate and grabbed her own drink to take a sip, seemingly in the mood for a longer chat than anticipated.

Kate laughed. This was probably the first real laugh that had passed her lips all night. There was something about Martha that just made her smile. 'Oh I'm just tired; it's been a long day.'

'I'm sure it has. I on the other hand didn't get up until around midday actually. Bit of a late night last night you see…'

'Oh was it really?' Kate asked questioningly and then grabbed her own drink taking a sip. She smiled at the older lady and had to admit to herself that she admired her candidness in most situations.

'Well that's a story for another night,' she winked, 'What do you think of the lovely Stephanie?'

'She's nice. I only spoke to her briefly earlier about a case and then tonight. What do you think?'

'She seems lovely.'

'Yeah…. Castle must really like her? To invite her here I mean.'

'Well I have to say it is most unlike him to bring her back if he is hoping for her to be _more _than friends.' Martha felt like she should be careful when talking about her son. She knew his feelings for Kate but nothing of her feelings for him. Although she suspected, like most others that Kate loved her son she didn't want to hurt her or potentially influence her when discussing his intentions with this new lady.

'Oh?'

'Short of his ex-wives and you Richard doesn't bring any lady friends home. If memory serves he only brought Gina round and introduced her when he was ready to propose. No, this one is different. I would guess that she is more of a friend than a date. He didn't mention anything to you?'

'No, no I didn't know she was coming until the last minute.'

'I see… well must get these drinks delivered.'

With that Martha started to lift two of the drinks and Kate's phone rang. She quickly grabbed it from her pocket. Martha halted to see who was calling, hoping that it wouldn't be a murder.

'Oh it's my dad. He has been checking in a lot recently…'

'Okay dear, use the office.'

Martha carried on into the living room and Kate walked into the office answering her phone.

'Okay folks, drinks are here,' Martha said, depositing them then returning to the get the rest.

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><p>Ten minutes later Kate was still in the office but the group had continued on with their game. Rick checked his watch subtly every few minutes secretly timing her. He had refrained from asking his mother where she had gone, paranoid that someone would make a comment about his worry or get the wrong end of the stick. Finally he allowed himself the privilege telling himself that it a reasonable amount of time had passed for him to enquire about her whereabouts.<p>

'Mother, where did Kate go?'

'Oh I sent her into the office to take a phone call,' she replied. 'That was ten minutes ago though, maybe you should check to see if she is okay?'

'Yea, I'll be right back,' he said standing up.

Walking towards his office he looked around at the table and each player seemed to be so interested in the game that none of them actually cared about him going off to find Kate like he had originally worried. Catching his Mothers eye he gave her a slight nod as a thank you. That woman and her power of interrupting him was a curse and a blessing all rolled into one. He slowly made his way to the door and listened to see if he could hear her talking.

'Okay… I will…. Yes….me too. Bye.' Kate finally hung up the phone and sighed. She had her back to the door and was resting against the desk. Dropping her head to gaze at the floor she thought about what she had put her dad through these past few months. Suddenly she felt like someone was watching her and she knew immediately that it would be Rick. Kate slowly stood off the desk, decided that she better put on a happy face and turned round towards him. He was leaning against the door frame gazing at her with a sympathetic look on his face.

'Are you okay?' he asked concerned about who had called her and left her looking tired and drained.

'Yea, I'm fine,' she smiled. 'My dad called. He has been getting a bit over protective since the shooting. He likes to check up on me,' she smiled sadly, guilt etched all over her face.

'Understandable,' he murmured.

'Yea, I suppose.'

'Is he going to be okay?'

'Oh yea, he'll be fine. He just wanted to hear my voice. I think I'll go and see him tomorrow.'

'That's good.' Castle smiled.

Yea, well… shall we get back?' Kate walked towards the door coming up to his shoulder when he stopped her.

'Wait,' he said putting his hand on her arm. She stopped and looked at his face, her body still pointed in the direction she was walking. 'Are you okay?'

'Yes, I told you… I'm fine.'

'Are you really? You seem a bit quiet tonight.' He held her eye contact with him and she could feel her face getting hotter by the minute.

Kate laughed lightly, 'Your mother said something similar actually. I'm just tired Rick.' She broke eye contact suddenly feeling like if she didn't he would be able to see right through her and he would know she was lying. She turned to face him and moved so that his hand dropped from her arm.

'Okay then. I was worried...'

'Why?'

'I thought it might have had something to do with me bringing Stephanie here tonight.'

'Why would that bother me?' she replied quickly. _Oh he's on to me_ she thought panicking. Castle suddenly noticed her expression change slightly. She had gone from tired to feisty in three seconds flat. This worried him. Sure he wanted a rise out of her, maybe the thought of making her jealous made him a little bit happy but now he was actually in this position he regretted it. He knew this could hurt her and this was the last thing he wanted to do.

'I don't… eh; I just didn't want you to think that it might interfere with the case. Not that I planned for anything to happen… I just….'

'Is it going to interfere with my case?' she said bluntly.

'No, of course it won't.'

'Then I have no issue.'

'Okay… why don't I believe you?' He asked suddenly feeling a bit braver than before. Her tone was starting to frustrate him. Her quick replies and sudden bad attitude left him determined to see this conversation through to the end.

'I don't know Rick, we really should get back,' and with that she headed towards the door. As she got to the closer he ran up in front of her and blocked her way. They ended up face to face, closer than he had intended.

'No'

'No?'

'No, you're hiding something from me Kate.'

'I… I'm not… I don't know what you mean.' Her body started to give her away. A shaky breath left her mouth and all she could do was focus on his lips, then his neck trying to calm down.

'You're quiet, you're nervous, you're struggling to form sentences… what aren't you telling me Kate?' he stepped closer to her, invading her personal space.

_Time to win an Oscar_ she thought, and she put her game face on.

'Castle, drop it.' She replied sternly.

'Why?'

'It has nothing to do with me. I don't care who you date!' the volume of her voice was rising slowly but surely.

'I'm not dating her.'

'Then why is she here?'

'I don't…well I…'

'Look who's struggling to form sentences now…' she replied snidely. 'Why don't know just admit it?'

'Admit what Kate?' saying her name a bit harsher than anticipated.

'That you want to date her.'

He found her infuriating. _May as well be honest _he thought. 'Okay, fine! I might date her, I might not, I haven't decided yet.'

Kate laughed out loud almost insanely, 'Oh you haven't decided yet, do tell Castle… what has made this such a hard decision for you? Not blonde enough? Not smart enough perhaps? I don't recall you ever being this picky!'

'Kate…' he tried to interrupt her.

'Not dumb enough maybe? Not weak at the knees from the good old _Castle charm_?' he could see her face getting redder and she moved even closer to him. She knew she was being horrible but she couldn't stop herself.

'Kate…'

'What?' she yelled in his face.

'She's not you Kate.' He yelled back at her. He just wanted her to listen. 'She's not you,' he finally whispered.

They stood still facing each other panting from their raised voices and hearts beating more rapidly. She was shocked. She looked into his eyes and saw sadness. He looked at hers and saw confusion. Neither knew where each other stood but they both knew that had gotten a little bit closer to the answers. Suddenly a cough awakened their senses. Kate looked over Ricks shoulder and Rick turned around slowly. His mother was at the door watching them.

'Your guests are wondering where you are Richard,' she said firmly.

'We'll be out in a minute,' he replied turning around to face Kate again. She was looking down at her shoes and he couldn't gauge her reaction.

'No, now Richard,' she tried again. He turned quickly back to face her and saw that her face was concerned and serious. This was not the mother he knew. Martha heard the tail end of the conversation and judging by Kate's reaction she had to save her from the unknown. Martha was right and Kate saw this as her get-away. She walked around Rick still looking towards the ground and breezed out passed them both. Martha then turned and followed. Rick stood alone in the room and wondered who was to blame for this. He couldn't decide if it was him, her or both of them. So he too left the room and joined the others again.

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><p>Thank you for reading :)<p> 


	3. Betrayal is my favorite subject

Note: Wow... I forgot how hard this writing malarky was! I salute you all because your stories blow me away.

Thanks for reading. Don't think this one is my finest simply due to lack of planning. But I have spent the week exploring where this is going to go so I'll be updating more often now and will (hopefully) be more succinct. Your reviews have been so very helpful and appreciated. :)

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><p>Kate lay in bed later that night staring at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep. She could barely breathe. So she lay there rehashing the argument that she had with Rick over and over in her head. The poker night had ended as well as could be expected. After she and Rick had both rejoined the table they tried their best to pretend nothing had happened. Kate focused on her cards more than normal and Rick glanced at her every few minutes. He tried to read her, or get her to even look at him but her gaze remained on her cards or whoever she was speaking to at the time. The only time she spoke to him was to say goodbye as the group was leaving and thank him for his hospitality. She smiled weakly at him and all he could see was sadness radiating from her eyes. Castle tried his hardest to communicate through his eyes and subtly get her to stay to continue their conversation but Stephanie made that impossible. As everyone left Kate noticed that Stephanie hung behind to stay a little longer with Rick. In the elevator on the way to the ground floor Kate was in a daze as she could only presume what was going on in that flat.<p>

Back at Castle's flat he was going through a similar night of not sleeping. His night had ended with Stephanie suggesting that they have a few more drinks which he had to politely decline. She was disappointed but he was too mentally drained to care. He glanced over to the alarm clock and seen that it was 5am. He sighed at the thought of going to the precinct. The outburst from Kate had shocked him but he could only assume that her anger had come from her heart. _Maybe she cares more than I thought…_ he sighed again. Rick decided that the only thing he could do was go into the precinct tomorrow and talk to her. The time had come and she was going to hear him this time.

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><p>Kate sat at her desk filling in paper work. The office was relatively quiet and the boys were away making calls. She welcomed the quiet before storm that would be Castles entrance. Kate had no idea how he was going to handle this let alone how she was. Just at that moment the elevator opened and she didn't have to look behind to know it was him, right on time.<p>

A coffee came into her sight as she remained looking down at her paper work.

'Hey,' he started hesitantly setting her coffee on the table.

'Hi, thank you,' she gave him a quick smile and continued with her work.

As he sat down he decided to jump right in, 'So… I eh…'

At that moment Esposito came strutting in and walked straight over to Kate's desk. _Never been happier to see you_ she thought as she looked up at him.

'Boss, we got the phone records through. Shows our second victim had only two calls on the day she died, one from her boyfriend and a mystery number,' Esposito informed her.

'Can you find out who owns the number?'

'Yea, Ryan is checking it now.'

'Okay so with any luck we can get confirmation from Lanie that the two victims were killed by the same person, match that number with the suspect and we are one step closer.'

'Lanie said she would ring as soon as she knows.'

'Okay, thanks Esposito.'

He started to walk away then turned back, 'Oh and I let Stephanie know that we might have a second victim for her.'

'You did?' she looked shocked and Rick took that moment to look away from Esposito and study her face.

'Yea, you wanted her kept in the loop right?' he said hesitantly

'Yes, of course. Thanks,' she smiled. Esposito left and Kate sighed inwardly returning to her work. It was so awkward between them that she couldn't stand it. He had been there less than five minutes and she had no clue what to say or even were to begin.

'So…' Rick started, 'do you think it'll be the same killer as Stephanie's case?'

'Well it looks like it, very similar crime scenes and weapons used. With any luck we'll match them and give her enough to put him away for a long time.'

'Well, fingers crossed.'

'Yes.'

The silence was back again. Castle knew he had to be strong.

'Listen, can we talk?'

'We are talking Castle,' she replied quickly.

'You know what I mean. About last night…'

'Look I don't think this is the time or the place,' she said simply. She couldn't do this, not here, she didn't feel ready.

'Well then when _can_ we talk Kate? Because I know what you're trying to do,' he started heatedly.

'What am I trying to do Castle? I am _trying_ to work!' she whispered angrily trying to keep her voice under control.

'No! You're trying to avoid this. I'm not going to let you this time. I can't do it again.'

Finally he looked her in the eyes and she looked back. She could see the pain and the hurt. As much as she knew it would kill her to confront her feelings she knew that she had to give him something because she couldn't stand the thought of hurting him.

'Break room,' she said quietly standing up. He immediately followed her. As they reached the door the elevators opened and she stopped just as she was about to go in. Castle had been looking towards the floor the entire time and ended up walking into the back of her.

'Kate…' he started, looking up at her and then following her gaze. _Oh crap_.

'Ah Rick there you are,' Stephanie called as she headed towards them from the elevator.

'Stephanie! Hello, I didn't think you were stopping by today.'

'I know, well after our _late night_ I didn't plan on it but when I heard about the developments and I was in the neighbourhood, I had to stop by. Oh hello Detective Beckett, it's good to see you again,' she said as she reached them.

'Hello Stephanie.' Kate smiled graciously.

'So fill me in Detective.'

'Well Ryan and Esposito are doing a few checks and we are waiting on confirmation from Dr Parish but we are pretty sure we have another victim.'

'Wonderful. So two murders and I already have my suspect…. I would say that's case closed. No hard work for me! Will you keep me informed Detective?'

'Of course, that's not a problem,' Kate smiled. She could see Castle watching her closely so she tried to remain calm.

'Thank you. Now Richard, I want to thank you for your _hospitality_, since I've been here you have been most helpful. So dinner tonight, that little Italian I mentioned?'

'Well actually…'

'No, no, I wont take no for an answer. Anyway I better run, I have a meeting in Brooklyn. So pick me up at 7.' And with that she was off walking towards the elevator.

Kate took a step back so she hit the door frame of the break room. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back. Suddenly the break room with Castle didn't seem like a very good idea. Castle watched her as she took in what Stephanie had just said. Their 'late night' and 'dinner tonight' ran through her mind. She felt like she couldn't compete.

'Listen Kate…' he started.

She sighed and opened her eyes to look at him. 'Don't worry Castle; let's just get back to work.'

'No Kate, wait. Please.'

She looked at him sadly. She felt sick to her stomach thinking about what they got up to last night after everyone had gone home. All she wanted to do was _not _think about it.

'I don't think I can do this…' she said quietly and then she left to return to her desk.

Rick followed her to her desk where she stood clearing up papers. 'It's only talking Kate. That's all I'm asking for.'

'Yea well what if I don't want to know?'

He stared at her for a minute not really knowing what to say next. Then he realised why she'd suddenly gone from wanting to talk to not wanting to. 'You're afraid…' he said lightly.

She sighed and started whispering with disdain, not that there were many people around, but she didn't want to risk yelling. 'Rick I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear about you and her, I don't want to hear about what happened last night, and I just can't take it, okay. You said you loved me and I….'

'Wait, what?' he interrupted her in total shock, 'you heard?'

'I, yes, well I ….'

'You lied to me,' he took a step back from the desk.

'I can explain.'

He laughed bitterly, 'you know what, don't worry, I get it.' The anger radiated through him as he stood in total shock that his partner had lied to him on more than one occasion.

'No Rick, I don't think…'

'Kate. Forget it,' and with that he nodded up towards Ryan and Esposito who were walking towards them.

She looked up and sighed. _This day could not be any worse than this, surely _she thought.

'Hey guys' Ryan said. 'We got an address from that cell phone number; you guys want to come check it out?

'Is everything okay?' Esposito asked sensing the atmosphere in the room.

'It's fine Esposito, we're coming.' Kate finished.

* * *

><p>Nothing could have prepared them for what happened next.<p>

The group arrived at the location after a frosty car journey. Neither of them spoke the whole time so both were pretty relieved when they pulled up to the house where the mobile phone was registered too. They got out of the car and grabbed their vests as the boys came to join them. As they started fixing their uniforms and checking guns Castle stood back and watched her for a minute. His thoughts hit him like a ton of bricks; she hadn't been the only one lying here. He then realised just how hypocritical he had been being so angry at her for not telling him the truth. He remembered what was sitting at home on his laptop; her murder-board that he had created. In his safe were the documents that he had been hiding from her. He was still trying to protect her. _Looks like we both have our secrets in all of this mess_ he thought.

'Okay,' Kate started, 'our suspect is in custody so the place _should_ be secure but we can't count on it. We go in, collect evidence and get out.'

Once everyone agreed they made their way around the house. Kate motioned for Ryan and Esposito to go around the back of the house while she and Kate went to the front door.

The house looked like a typical suburban house complete with bit garden and picket fence. Kate reached the front door and turned the door handle slowly. She looked round and nodded at Rick letting him know she was about to go in. He nodded back ready to stay there is anyone was to surprise her. Kate stepped inside and could see right through to the back door where Esposito and Ryan were standing. They nodded and continued to clear the house. Rick followed in slowly and Kate was glad of his sudden, surprising caution. After the whole house was cleared the four of them stood in the living room.

'Okay guys, let's make this quick and search for anything that might help us. Lanie said the murder weapon was a type of kitchen knife so I'm going to start there,' Kate said as she went to leave.

'Wait Beckett,' Esposito called grabbing her arm as she passed him, 'Listen'

'What?'

They all looked at him as if he had gone mad. Then suddenly very light buzzing seemed to distract them all. Rick slowly turned around trying to find the source. Everyone looked at each other in confusion.

Then Kate walked slowly towards the door and was met with a cloud of smoke. She quickly jumped back as the smoke quickly filled the room. She could hear the others cough in the background as her breathing tightened and she felt weak at the knees. She glanced round to see the others but saw nothing but clouds. It was seconds before the lights went out.


	4. Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Just wanted to say that I LOVED all your Cops and Robbers stories :) Truely inspiring. Thanks.

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><p>The noise was all Kate could focus on when she woke up. She slowly opened her eyes a few times but remained lying down not trusting herself to get up safely. Taking in her surroundings she found that she could hear talking, police sirens and beeping. The beeping immediately made her remember being in the hospital and she shuddered. A little bit of her assumed that it was happening all over again. Kate thought that she had been shot. <em>What happened? <em>She thought over and over trying to put the pieces together. Finally the curiosity took over and she slowly sat up and looked around.

'Detective I need you to stay there please. You can sit up but I need to monitor you for a while.'

Kate nodded slowly at the female paramedic who has been at her side the entire time. She found herself in an ambulance, again. Thankfully she hadn't been shot and her breathing immediately became a little bit easier. Looking around she could see Ryan and Esposito standing outside the vehicle talking to some officers. The desire to check on them and find out what happened took over her and Kate stood up quickly already forgetting what she had just been told.

'Wow, easy there, sit down Detective.' Captain Gates stopped her, suddenly at the door of the ambulance.

'Captain, what happened?' she replied sitting back down. Captain Gates got into the ambulance and took a seat opposite Kate. She nodded at the paramedic giving her a silent command for privacy. Looking between the two women the paramedic decided that it would be okay for the time being and she left the ambulance.

'Esposito managed to get a call through before he dropped,' Gates explained. 'I knew something _must_ be wrong when all _three_ of you failed to answer your phones and low and behold I find my three Detectives out cold from a tear gas attack.'

'That was tear gas? Are they okay?' Kate replied. Even though she could see Ryan and Esposito from where she sat she had to make sure that Castle and the boys were safe.

Gates nodded at her. 'Ryan and Esposito are fine. Like you they are experiencing a few minor after effects; sore eyes, trouble breathing. It seems it was a mild dosage thankfully.'

'And Castle? He's okay too?' Kate suddenly realised that Gates hadn't mentioned him. He dislike of him was no secret but there was no need to ignore his existence. She quickly tried to replay the events in her head. She remembered arguing. She had fought with Castle about everything. Everything she wanted to hide from. They were going to investigate Stephanie's case again. There was a cell phone number they wanted to connect with the suspect; Robert Taylor. They had entered the house and then the smoke came.

'Detective, are you absolutely sure that Castle entered the house with you? He didn't leave before the attack or stay outside the house?'

'No Sir. No, he was in the room with us when the gas came in. Why? What happened? Where is he?' Kate asked confused.

'Ryan and Esposito said the same thing. He is gone Detective Beckett. We can't find him. He wasn't there when we found you.'

* * *

><p>Finally, after being checked over by the paramedic a few times Kate was allowed to leave the ambulance. She slowly stepped down and made her way to find Ryan and Esposito. She felt weak and nervous. All the time while being examined all she could think about was Castle. She knew he wouldn't leave them and she knew that he must have been taken. Kate prayed that he was still alive wherever he was.<p>

'Hey guys. How are you doing?' she started.

'We're as well as can be expected. Nauseous,' Esposito replied smiling sadly.

'You heard about Castle?' Ryan asked hesitantly.

Kate looked to the floor, sadness overtaking her. 'Yeah, I don't understand it.'

'We did find evidence that Robert Taylor had been saying there though. Seems it was his mother's house before she died. Taylor's brother James now lives there. It could have been the brother who took Castle.'

'Or it was whoever we disturbed. It could have been the killer,' Esposito claimed.

'I thought the guy we have locked up was the killer! This is not good,' Ryan replied.

'Well we have got to find out what is going on and why they took Castle.'

'Oh no,' Kate said suddenly speaking up. She looked up at the boys. She was distracted and concerned. She had been silent while Ryan and Esposito were talking, just taking in everything they said and trying to focus. She tried to get the evidence straight in her head but the mention of Castle brought her mind back to the present.

'What?' They boys replied together and looked from Kate to each other immediately worried.

'I just remembered about Alexis and Martha. I've got to tell them,' Kate replied.

The thought of this killed her. She always hoped and prayed that there would never be a time when she would have to tell Alexis that something had happened to her father. Now that moment was here she felt sick to her stomach.

'We'll come with you. We can plan from there and wait to see if he makes contact with them. I'll let the Captain know,' Ryan finished and walked away to find Gates.

Kate and Esposito looked at each other. Their expressions silently reassuring the other that everything would be okay. Esposito had this calming effect on Kate. He knew when to ask the right questions. Ones that he knew would get her thinking. Kate looked over his shoulder and she could see Lanie coming through the crowd of police officers and heading straight for them both.

'Hey. I came as soon as I found out. Are you guys okay?' she asked slightly out of breath but hugging them both firmly.

'Yeah, we're fine.' Kate said smiling grimly.

'Just worried about Castle, he's missing' Esposito replied knowing that Kate couldn't bring herself to go into the details just yet.

'I heard. They still have no idea where he is?'

'No babe. We were just heading to his place to let Martha and Alexis know about what happened. Do you want to come?'

'Yes of course. Just give me a minute with Kate please,' Lanie asked. Kate's demeanour worried her so she thought that a bit of reassure would help her friend.

'Okay. I'll get Ryan and we'll meet you by the cars,' he replied leaving the ladies alone.

'Girl, how are you holding up?' Lanie asked, rubbing Kate's arm trying to comfort her.

'Oh Lanie, it's a mess. I don't know what to do,' Kate replied sadly, looking at the ground again. Willing herself not to cry at a crime scene she breathed deeply.

'We will get him back sweetie.'

'I messed up really badly. He hates me.' Kate looked into Lanie's eyes and her friend could see the pressure going on behind her eyes.

'He could never hate you Kate.'

'He knows I lied. I've been horrible to him and now I have to go and explain to his daughter that I've put him in danger, again.'

'Just focus on getting him back. Kate he needs your expertise. You and the guys are the best and only you can get him back. The rest will sort itself out, I promise.'

Kate smiled at Lanie. Thanking her silently was all she could do at the moment. Kate knew she had to focus on telling Alexis and Martha first. Only then could she get him back and do everything in her power to make this whole mess right and make it up to him.

* * *

><p>Standing outside the door to the loft Kate and Lanie looked at each other before knocking. They both knew that explaining this situation would not be the easiest thing in the world. Once they left the crime scene Kate and Lanie drove together and the guys had to sort out a few things with Gates but were on their way. Kate could hear Martha's heels clicking as she walked towards the door. Her nerves were making her stomach bubble with anticipation. She prayed that she could through this without crying or showing any signs of worry that might result in Alexis and Martha fearing the worst. Kate knew she had to remain professional and at least seem confident that she could get Castle back. If only she believed it. Seeing the door open both women took a deep breathe.<p>

'Detective Beckett, hello…? What a surprise! Dr Parish, what are you doing here?' Martha asked looking confused. She glanced around looking for her son.

'Can we come in please Martha?' Kate asked with her face serious yet trying to be somewhat personable.

'Where is Richard?' Martha moved to let Kate and Lanie enter.

'What's going on? Where's my dad?' Alexis immediately appeared. She had obviously been listening to see who was at the door when they were not expecting anyone and time was moving slowly into late evening.

'Lets all sit down.' Lanie suggesting trying to keep everyone calm.

'No. Where is he?' Alexis said firmly. Everyone looked at the young lady but her eyes rested firmly on Kate's demanding that she was the one to answer.

'Alexis…' Kate started hesitantly, suddenly letting her nerves get the better of her. It was Alexis and her piercing eyes that did it. Kate could see the worry and the passion seeping through.

'I don't know. He was with us when we were searching a house and we got tear gassed. When we woke up he was gone. I'm so sorry.'

'Oh! Dear God.' Martha exclaimed. She put her hand to her head and moved towards the nearest chair to sit down. Lanie moved with her to make sure she made it safely. Kate and Alexis just stared at each other. Kate trying her hardest to make her know that everything would be okay. A knock at the door made everyone jump and look towards it.

'That will be the guys,' Kate said looking at Martha as she had jumped the most. 'We want to set up here in case he contacts one of you. Is that okay?'

'Of course my dear, I'll let them in,' Martha rose and immediately put on her best smile.

Kate watched as Alexis finally stopped staring at her and moved towards the kitchen. She went to the fridge and got out a bottle of water. She drank it like she was knocking back vodka. Kate wished she had some vodka right about now. Her gaze finally left Alexis and she turned to see the boys entering, both of them stopped to give Martha a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Kate took a few more deep breaths to prepare herself for debriefing Castles family and hopefully giving everyone some hope in the process.

* * *

><p>Rick seemed to be having the same difficult time breathing as Kate was. He found himself gagged with a dirty rag and tied up in a chair. He looked around and assumed that he was in an old warehouse of some sorts. He sighed. <em>What a cliché.<em> He already hated whoever had taken him for his simple lack of imagination. After waiting for what seemed like ages for someone to return to him he let the events of the past few hours pass through his mind. He remembered Kate and the argument. She had lied to him and he tried to work out why. Stephanie was most likely part of the issue he ascertained. He wondered if was Kate jealous and if so, why did she keep lying? He knew Stephanie wasn't the only problem; he just had to figure out the rest.

Castle knew that they would be trying to find them right now. If they where okay. Looking around the room again he checked again that he was alone and that none of his team mates were tied up with him. Hearing movement approaching Castle swung his head towards it and saw a tall, thin man approach. He looked old and haggard. Castle wondered if he had managed to get him here alone.

'Hello there. Mr Castle isn't it?' the man started as he took off Castle's gag.

'Yes. Hi. And you are?' Rick asked coughing from a dry mouth.

'I am the person whose house you were just in. It is my brother that you and your cop friends have locked up Mr Castle.' The man stood back in front of Rick and looked him up and down.

'You're James? You're Robert Taylor's brother?'

'Yes.'

'You gassed us? Where are the others?'

'Well you see I had just planned to escape but then I saw an opportunity that I couldn't refuse,' the man replied grinning and shrugging sympathetically.

'And what was that?'

'It was you. Imagine my surprise when world famous novelist Richard Castle is lying on my floor. Well you are not any old person so I thought I could use you.'

'Use me? You want to trade my life for his?'

'You know.'

'That sounds pretty foolproof. So you left the others there?'

'Yes. Well I can't be greedy Mr Castle. I only want Robert, so I only need you.'

'But your brother committed a crime,' Castle said suddenly deciding to take a more direct approach. He tried to analyse the man in front of him. Getting to know him on a more personable basis would help him to reason with him and hopefully gain him his freedom.

'You're wrong.' James raised his voice slightly.

'I am? What about the evidence?'

'That's wrong too.'

'Well why don't you just tell the police that? Explain things. Then you could get your brother off and we could all go home.'

'Oh if only it was that simple. I am afraid we seem to have gone beyond that point now.'

'Why?'

'You're the expert in all things crime Mr Castle. You tell me…'

'Okay. Let's see. Why would you risk everything? It was you? You did it. You don't care that you have taken me. You have no guilt regarding the people who have lost their lives. The only ties you have now are with your family and you want to protect them.'

'You are good Mr Castle. You are right. It was me that murdered those people.'

'So I am your only shot to rescue your brother?'

'You have become my only option. I have to protect him.'

'So why don't give yourself up? It's the only sure way to protect him. I can help. The people who left back at that house are detectives and if you give yourself up, I can guarantee they'll help you.'

'No! I don't need your help now Mr Castle. What's done is done and I will get my brother back one way or another…. If that means more sacrifices along the way then so be it.'

Castle looked at the man who although had raised his voice slightly showed no signs of panic of worry. He couldn't decide if James was good at hiding his emotions or he simply did not have any. Castle knew if he was to survive this he would have to find out why James killed those people and just how far he was willing to go to get his brother back. Rick was reassured by the fact that there were people out the looking for him. If anyone could save him it was Kate.

* * *

><p>Back at the loft everyone was sitting around the table going through the notes that they had on the case. It wasn't much because everything was back at the precinct. Alexis stood up and started pacing around the table. As she looked around at everyone in her house she saw them all working and talking to each other. Concentration etched on all their faces. That is except Kate's. Kate had been staring at a piece of paper for the last ten minutes. It was clear to Alexis that she had stopped reading and her mind was elsewhere. Alexis prayed that it was with her father.<p>

This continued for the next 30 minutes and the noise level began to rise. Everyone was theorizing, brainstorming and planning on where to look next. No one seemed to notice that Kate was silent the entire time or if they did they chose to ignore it. Alexis assumed it was to give Kate the time she needed to get her head around what had happened. Her dad didn't have this time

'Detective Beckett…?' Alexis asked quietly. Everyone could have heard her if they wanted but Alexis remained ignored as the team were too involved in discussing the case and Kate was still daydreaming.

'Beckett?' she tried again a bit louder this time. Starting to get annoyed at the Detectives actions, Alexis couldn't seem to hide it anymore. Again no one turned when Alexis spoke.

'Kate!' she shouted loud enough for everyone to hear. Everyone including Kate stopped what ever they were doing and turned to look at the girl. No one was telling her anything useful; they were just going over the same stuff over and over. Kate was being equally as useless and Alexis felt like she needed her to be strong or she would loose all hope of getting her dad back.

'Kate… what are you going to do to get my dad back?' Alexis asked strongly.

'We eh… we have to wait,' Kate said unsure.

'What?' Alexis looked confused and angry with the woman. Kate looked into her eyes and saw the pain. Kate wanted to make herself disappear. She felt like she had caused this. She had caused everyone's pain because she was selfish enough to want Rick. Kate felt like Alexis could see right into her soul. She could hear the girl shouting silently at her, telling her to do something. Anything!

Everyone was watching Kate and Alexis stare at each other. Suddenly shaking herself Kate knew what she had to do.

'Ryan I need you to go and get everything you can on Stephanie's case from the precinct. I know the Captain has people on this but we have been working on this so we are already up to speed. We need to work at it properly and not with these half assed notes.'

'Okay,' he said getting up from the table and heading to get his stuff together.

'Esposito, find Stephanie and get her to come over here now. She knows the case better than anyone and we need to try and determine who or what we are dealing with here.'

'Okay Boss.' He also stood and went to join Ryan.

'Lanie, are you okay to review the ME's findings just in case we are missing anything?'

'Yes, of course.'

'Okay, as soon as we get the details from Ryan we can do that. Until then, will you help me get us come coffee ready?'

'Sure,' Lanie replied smiling. She could see the real Kate Beckett had come back. She was the 'Crime Fighter' again. Lanie then stood and headed towards the kitchen. Kate finally looked at Martha who was still at the table watching everyone and then at Alexis who was still at the edge of the table.

'Alexis, Martha, I am going to get him back. I promise,' Kate smiled reassuringly.

'You think he's still alive? That someone is keeping him?' Alexis asked. The girl finally showed that she wasn't just angry but nervous as well. Martha gasped slightly.

'Alexis you know I can't be sure of anything.' Kate replied, not wanting to give the girl false hope. She was trained not to; she shouldn't start now because this is personal.

'No Kate… I want to know what _you_ think.' Alexis pleaded with the woman and Kate could feel all her will power leaving her. Alexis just reminded her of Castle and the way he could make her melt with one swift look.

'I think that he is out there somewhere. I am sure of it and I am going to find him.'


	5. Love hurts

A bit delayed but finally here. Next chapter tomorrow as it just needs to be edited. Thank you :)

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><p>Alexis stood by the sink and watched the woman who was in love with her father. She was not stupid. She could see it in Kate's eyes, even if Kate could not admit it herself. The way she looked at him and the way she was fighting for him made it obvious. Alexis knew that she would get her father back, because Kate loved him. The thought of this made her feel slightly better about this whole ordeal. She imagined for a moment what the pain was like for Kate. The agony of losing a parent or even a loved one can destroy a person. Alexis swore she could see it seeping from Kate. She could see it coming from her eyes and through her pores.<p>

Alexis continued standing by the sink and started washing the dishes. Kate must have felt eyes on her as she glanced up and smiled slightly at Alexis. Kate, Esposito, Ryan and Stephanie all sat around the table which was covered in notes and paperwork. They had been working for the past few hours trying to pick out anything that might help them find out who had taken Castle or where he could be. Martha had of course been quite the hostess, providing them with food, drinks and anything else they needed. Kate found herself in awe of the woman as she got up to help Martha clear some plates. She truly was a great actress. It wasn't until Kate looked very closely that she could see her heart breaking.

Kate walked into the kitchen with Martha to join Lanie and Alexis who had already started cleaning the dirty dishes.

'How's it going in there?' asked Lanie.

'It's going okay,' Kate replied, trying to sound a little upbeat considering Martha and Alexis were listening to the conversation. 'Having Stephanie here really helps, she knows the case well. We are going through the Taylor family financials now, so hopefully something will pop.'

Everyone then continued to clean in silence.

Eventually Kate left the women to return to her spot at the table. Esposito was in the process of questioning Stephanie for what seemed to Kate like the tenth time.

'Okay, so you have been talking to the brother about the case?' he asked her.

'Yes, his name is James,' Stephanie sighed, 'he kept calling me until I threatened to have him arrested. He said his brother was innocent and that we had the wrong guy. He wanted us to work together to get his Robert off the hook.'

'Look at this…' Ryan claimed, raising the note that was in his hand, 'he has quite the rap sheet himself, 'armed robbery amongst other things.'

'Yes well a few choice words may have been exchanged on the phone. If I had of none this would have happened I would have treated him with more care,' Stephanie said quietly suddenly felling guilty.

'Is his address listed as the one where we got gassed?' asked Kate curiously.

'Yes, well it was left to him very recently when his mother died.'

Suddenly Esposito stood up, 'Guys… I think I know where Castle could be!' he exclaimed waving a bit of paper. He was loud enough for the women in the kitchen to stop what they were doing and come over to the table to see what the commotion was.

'What? Where? How do you know, Esposito?' Kate asked confused.

'An old warehouse a few miles out of the city. His mother sold it to the government a week before she died. It says here that the place has to be totally refurbished. Chances are it's not finished yet, so for all know James still has keys to the place, or a way in.'

'Okay, let's gear up. We can let Gates know on the way…'

The team all stood up and left to organise themselves. Ryan left to get the guns and vests while Esposito made a few calls. A few minutes later both men came back and the team stood around preparing their uniforms and equipment. Alexis watched in fascination as Kate loaded her gun and strapped it to her thigh. Kate looked up and caught her watching. She sensed the apprehension coming from the young girl. Kate walked over to her while everyone was busying themselves.

'Don't be scared Alexis. These are only precautionary.' Kate glanced down at the gun.

'I know what they're for Kate. I know they'll help you get him back,' Alexis replied with a determined tone.

'They will. He will be back before you know it, I promise.'

'What about you?'

Kate suddenly looked up to make eye contact with the young girl.

'Will you be back too Kate?'

'I… Alexis…'

'Promise me.'

'I can't do that.'

'I know you can't promise me that everything will be okay. I want you to promise me that you'll try your best to get back here as well, with my dad.'

Kate was utterly stunned by this care and affection. Up until now she had convinced herself that Alexis would never forgive her. _Maybe we have a chance._ Kate pulled Alexis in for a strong hug. Alexis realised that if her dad came back without Kate he would be utterly devastated. He would not be her dad anymore.

'I promise.'

Alexis sighed in relief and slowly pulled away from Kate to give her a smile.

'Okay.'

And with that Kate, Ryan and Esposito left the loft. They left to get Castle back. To bring him back to Alexis and Martha. And back to Kate.

* * *

><p>The team arrived at the warehouse. As they got out of the car Kate surveyed the scene. It was an old, battered building. The scene was like something out of a bad television show.<p>

'Okay boss, we ready?' Esposito asked

Kate nodded at him confidently. _This is it. _ She found herself relieved. She was finally there and about to get Castle back. He was so close and yet so far.

The big building seemed to have one viable entrance. They made their way through the entrance. Though the large door there was a few long, dull corridors but only one had light at the end of it. They moved slowly and silently, knowing exactly what the other was thinking. A well trained team; armed and ready. As they followed the light they came to a corner. The sound of talking could suddenly be heard in the distance. It was Castle and a man. Kate would know his voice anywhere. As they approached the room Kate motioned for Esposito to try and find a different route hoping for the element of surprise while she and Ryan listened out. They could finally see them. Castle tied up to a chair, gagged. His kidnapper was pacing. They immediately recognised him from the mug sheet as James Taylor. It was exactly who they had suspected and Kate couldn't help but think that this meant the plan was going well. Or was it going a little too well?

All Kate and Ryan had to wait for was the moment when James had his back to them. He was circling Castle so they didn't have long to wait. He finally moved in front of Castle, with his back to them. Just as they where about to move in Ryan held his hand out for Kate to stop. She looked up and could see James untying Castle. They had to move fast as Castle was dragged to his feet. Kate nodded and they both knew it was now or never.

'NYPD freeze!' Ryan yelled.

'Don't move!' Kate shouted as she moved into the room and stopped directly in front of them but at a distance.

James jumped and swung around bringing Castle with him. He smiled right at Kate. Moving his arm into view he gave Kate and Ryan the opportunity to see that he had a knife pointed into Rick's side. Rick was weak and scared but all he could do was focus on Kate, checking her over with his eyes.

'Drop it!' Ryan shouted over at him.

'Let him go James,' Kate said directly. She was proud of herself that the words sounded like a command rather than a plea.

Kate looked right back at Rick and it took everything she had not to shoot James in the head immediately.

'I can't do that.' James finally replied. 'Not until my brother is safe.'

'Listen to me James,' Kate said quietly taking one step closer, 'you know the only way that we can help you is if you let Castle go.'

'You're lying. You won't help me. That bitch wouldn't help me so why should I believe you.'

'I'm not lying to you James. I promise. I will help you but if you don't let him go I am going to have to shoot you.'

They could see Esposito hiding by a wall behind them. This was it. They were so close.

'Please James. You have to trust me. This is the only way you can help him now.'

James then head shuffling coming from behind him. He panicked and jumped with fear which caused Rick to try and move away from him. Rick fell to his knees and his eyes shut as he listened to the gunfire. A sharp pain moved up his side and for a second he wondered if he had been shot or stabbed, he couldn't work out which. It all happened so fast and suddenly all he could focus on was Kate above him, leaning over him. She looked like she was crying. He was so confused. The dehydration and lose of blood was taking its toll.

'God Castle, thank God. It's okay; there is help on the way.'

He let out a shaky laugh, 'That's good. Hey.'

'Hi,' Kate smiled back, 'I'm going to apply pressure okay? It's going to hurt.'

'What hurt more than it already does?' he replied sarcastically.

'I'm sorry Castle,' Kate said sadly stroking his hair.

'Hey, I know you have to do it. I'm glad you're here Kate.'

Kate laughed. He didn't even realise that her 'sorry' wasn't just for causing him more pain to his body, but for causing him so much heartache as well. 'Where else would I be? Who else would save you Castle?'

Rick smiled as much as he could back at her, 'I'm sorry,' he whispered.

'God Rick, it's going to be okay. You are going to be okay.'

'No Kate, I'm sorry I walked away from us. I am sorry I didn't let you explain before.'

'Stop Rick, we will sort this out later okay. I need you to listen to me for once in your life and stop talking. Save your energy. Okay?'

'Okay.'

Rick closed his eyes and Kate watched him, listening to the sounds sirens coming from a distance. She hand one hand on his head and the other pressed against his wound. She had seen a few stabbings in her time but with this one she couldn't tell how bad it was. It was messy and Castle was already weak. She closed her eyes for a moment and prayed that it wasn't too late for either of them.


	6. Girl Interrupted

Thank you so much for the reviews and alerts :) Everything is taken on board and your advice is always extremely helpful. I am not confident on this one and I blame it on having the flu. Being in bed all weekend has made me go a little crazy (more than usual).

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><p>Kate sat beside Ryan and Esposito in the hospital with her head in her hands. She thought about their journey in the ambulance and felt haunted from seeing Castle so… fragile. She had sat with him all the way to the hospital holding his hand. If anything he was comforting her. Every few seconds he would squeeze her hand and smile at her dopily, officially enjoying the pain relief.<p>

Kate heard the door open and looked up to see Martha and Alexis rushing in. They had both obviously been crying and were out of breath.

'What happened? Where is he?' Alexis asked.

'Is he going to be okay?' Martha cried before anyone had the chance to answer.

Kate sat where she was whereas Ryan and Esposito stood to explain.

'He's going to be fine. He has a knife wound near his hip but we got him here in time,' Esposito explained. 'We don't think it was very deep but we are still waiting to hear from the doctor.'

'He's already talking about having a cool scar,' laughed Ryan. They all chucked a little in relief.

Everyone took a seat and the silence was deafening to Kate. After a while Esposito left to get Lanie and Ryan went to get coffees. Martha offered to give him a hand to distract her from the long wait. Kate had her eyes closed now resting her head against the wall. She heard Alexis sigh and immediately opened her eyes to check on the girl.

'Are you okay?' she asked hesitantly. Kate knew this was a stupid question but in times like this there really is nothing better to say.

'Yeah, I suppose.' Alex replied slowly. 'I was just thinking about the last time we were all here together.'

'Oh…'

'Yeah…'

Kate sighed. 'Alexis, I'll never be able to express just how sorry I am that you all had to go through that.'

'I know. It wasn't your fault Kate, but I do want to say thank you for keeping your promise. All the way here I just kept imagining him to be in the condition you were or…even worse. I don't know would I would have done.'

'Yeah me neither,' Kate whispered.

The two women sat in silence thinking about what they had just said. Alexis felt a great deal calmer but Kate was the opposite. She couldn't breathe. Alexis had reminded her of what she had put everyone through when she got shot. Kate could almost imagine them all sitting in the same room. Her heart broke and she thought about herself worrying about Castle when only a few months ago Castle was here experiencing even worse circumstances. She nearly lost Rick and she needed air.

Just as Ryan and Martha were returning Kate stood and breezed out the door muttering 'excuse me' as she left. Everyone in the room watched her go. They were all concerned.

* * *

><p>A while later Lanie found Kate sitting in a stairwell. Kate looked up at her and smiled sadly. Kate looked small.<p>

'Oh sweetie,' Lanie called out.

'Hello Lanie,' Kate sniffed.

'What are you doing out here all alone? We were worried.'

'Sorry. I'm sorry I just needed a minute.'

'Do you feel better now?' Lanie asked moving to sit down next to Kate.

'Yeah a bit, thanks.'

'Good because we need you back in there. Castle is awake and Alexis is tearing herself up because she thinks she has upset you.'

'Oh… great,' Kate replied sarcastically. Now she felt even worse.

'Come on girl, we can do this together,' Lanie said standing up again. She held out a hand to Kate to help her up. Kate smiled and took the assistance.

'Lanie, do you think I can fix this?'

'Fix what?'

'Well me, Rick, Alexis, just everything.'

'You're Kate Beckett,' Lanie smiled. 'You survived your mother's murder. You lived after being shot in the heart by a sniper. You fight crime for a living. You can do anything.'

Kate laughed and hugged Lanie tightly showing her thanks. They both walked back to the waiting room and Kate felt a little better just having her best friend at her side. She was still worried about just about everything but now she realised she wasn't alone. Just like she wasn't alone when she was in the hospital and this made Kate feel confident about having the ability to salvage something great from this mess.

As they entered the room she was surprised at the velocity at which Alexis grabbed her into a hug.

'I am so sorry Kate,' she cried. Tears were streaming down her face which just immediately transferred onto Kate's jumper. 'I didn't mean to upset you, or bring up old memories, I swear.'

'Oh Alexis, you have nothing to apologise for,' Kate replied rubbing her hands up and down the young girls back. 'Okay?' Kate stopped rubbing and gripped her so she would look at her. Alexis smiled back. Both women finally felt safe again. Martha sighed in relief at the scene.

At that point a doctor came in to talk to the group. Alexis clutched onto Kate as she listened to the man.

'You'll all be relieved to know that Mr Castle is stable. Thanks to the first aid he received at the scene we actually didn't have that much to do. He just needed stitched up. You can see him now for a little while, but he will be tired so only two at a time please.'

The group let out a collective sigh in relief and thanked the doctor before he left.

'Alexis, why don't you and Kate go first?' Martha piped up.

'Oh no Martha, you go ahead, please,' Kate replied.

'Are you sure dear?'

'Yes. I think I need a minute anyway.'

Kate sat down and smiled. She couldn't help at chuckle to herself at how lucky Castle is. _That will never get old._

* * *

><p>An hour or so later Alexis and Martha had finished visiting and let Kate know they were going home for the evening. The others had all left also deciding it would be best to return in the morning. Kate took a few minutes to pluck up the courage to enter Rick's room. Apparently he was sleeping, or so she hoped. She walked in and shuddered at the sight of him. She had to remind herself that it wasn't as bad as it looked. Slowly she took a seat next to him and couldn't help but reach out and hold his hand. He smiled and woke up slowly, blinking at her.<p>

'Hey,' was all she could manage to say.

'Hi,' he said tiredly.

'Are you okay? Do you need a nurse?'

'I'm okay, just tired, drugged up, excited to see my scar,' he grinned dopily.

'You are such a child,' she laughed.

'How are you doing?' he asked squeezing her hand.

'Well I wasn't the one who got stabbed…'

'Kate.'

'I'm okay. I'm okay Castle.'

And then they went silent. They sat there for minutes just stroking each others hand. Kate thought he had finally fallen asleep again when he went still in the darkness of the room.

'God I'm glad you're here,' he said randomly.

Kate smiled and dragged his hand up to where her head had lowered. She just wanted to feel him close to her. Feeling the head from his hand would remind her that he was alive.

'Me too Castle,' she replied putting his hand down again and looking at him.

'I'm sorry I got so angry before,' he said, reminding her of their previous argument. He now knew everything there was to know. He knew that she had heard his declaration of love.

'Oh Rick. You have a right to be angry. Please know how sorry I am that I kept this from you. I was…running from it. Like I always do,' she finished with a sigh.

'I know you're sorry Kate. It's okay. I get it, I really do.'

Then the silence returned. Castle stared into space and Kate just watched his reaction. _What did he get? _She didn't even get it! How could he? Kate didn't want this to go on any longer. She couldn't live with the uncertainty of not knowing if he felt the same. She hated not knowing if he understood how she felt about him.

'Rick, I need you to know something...'

Castle looked at her suddenly with a glimmer of hope on his face. Just the use of his first name was enough to make his ears perk up.

'What?' he replied curiously. When she didn't begin speaking immediately, he carried on. 'You know you can tell me anything.'

'I'm trying Rick, I really am.'

'Trying?'

'I am trying to be more. More than this... More than what I am.'

'What are you saying Kate?' He had started to use her first name and now he found himself unable to stop.

'I'm saying that… I need you to know… I love you. I'm _in _love with you.' She breathed out, ending the sentence in whisper.

They sat there in the cold dark hospital room staring at each other for what seemed like hours but in reality was thirty seconds.

He opened his mouth as he was about to say something when the door crashed opened. Both Rick and Kate jumped and looked towards the door.

'God Rick, I came as soon as I heard.' Stephanie announced.

Kate sat there unsure of what to do next. Rick wanted nothing more in the world than to reassure her and tell her everything was going to be okay. Kate took her hand back as Stephanie rushed over and started fiddling with Rick's bed clothes. Rick looked at Kate to grab her attention but Kate just smiled sadly at him. Suddenly Stephanie spoke and pulled Kate out of her thoughts.

'Detective Beckett I didn't think you would still be here. You look awful,' Stephanie frowned at her.

'Actually,' Kate replied, not even the slightest bit hurt at her comment. She knew Stephanie was probably right given what had happened. 'I was just leaving to get some sleep now I know Castle is okay.'

_Back to Castle already _he thought.

'Good idea,' Stephanie replied.

'You don't have to go Kate,' Rick said in a last-ditch attempt, silently pleading with her to stay.

'You need your rest Castle, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?'

Rick nodded and Kate smiled again. She wanted nothing more than to bend down and kiss him but she couldn't. Instead she whispered goodbye and patted his hand as she walked away.

A part of her felt like she couldn't compete with Stephanie. As she walked out of the hospital Kate couldn't help but feel troubled by the thought that they would never get their chance. Another attempt had been interrupted.


End file.
